I will always be my own worst critic. We are hard-wired to critique ourselves, to try and better ourselves. Unfortunately, this criticism is often destructive, especially when it is related to how we look. I started this blog and cut my hair with the intention of letting go of all these “things” in my life, and learning to depend on and trust God and His joy. I expected to have ups and downs. I expected bad days, days when I would hate my hair. I expected to need to wait for the bad days to pass, and to need to blog about them in order to make sure that I’m being totally honest.
What I didn’t expect was to connect with so many people in the process. I cannot get over how much support I received yesterday. I was inundated by kind words, advice and love. I have been so incredibly overwhelmed over the last 24 hours. And incredibly proud and privileged to have such amazing people in my life.
Being independent, doesn’t mean not needing support. It means knowing when to ask for support. In order to help others, you need to look after yourself. I’ve always said that asking for support shows strength, not weakness, and I’m lucky to have that mindset. I have been blessed with so many people that I can depend on for support. God definitely puts each and every person in our lives to support us and to help us grow. In learning to depend on them, I am learning to depend on Him. In learning to be vulnerable, I’m also learning how to be stronger.
I’ve received some VERY sage advice recently, from some very wise people. I need to believe in myself. I need to tell the reflection that it’s beautiful. I need to remember to save some of the love that I’m so keen to spread, for myself- it is a heart full of love that wins first place, not a head full of hair.
People are going to judge, haters gon’ hate as they say. But the people that mind don’t matter, and the people that matter don’t mind. Also, I bet that half of the judgements I feel are in my imagination! People are fundamentally good. I genuinely believe that, so I need to stop projecting my own negativity. I don’t need to hate on myself. I need to ignore these negative thoughts that I use to tear myself down. The things I tell myself, I would NEVER tell a friend. I am my own friend, and I deserve to treat myself the way that I treat them. We are all here to support each other, not tear each other, or ourselves down.
In God’s eyes I am exactly as He made me.