Judgement comes so easily. It’s so much easier to judge someone and move on, than to bother thinking about who that person is and what their story might be. I’ve realised that even assuming that people are judging me, is me judging them for being judgemental. Judgement dehumanises myself and others. It places me on a pedestal, and others below me, leaving me with a warped view of humanity. Judgement based on worthless differences, PARTICULARLY about the way that we look, are the root cause of so many problems in this world.
I have never really felt like I was on the outside of anything. If anything, due to my upbringing, I’ve always been a kind of chameleon who is able to morph until I fit in anywhere. Thus, the feeling that of being an “outsider” because of my “different” hair has been completely new for me (even if it was just a perceived difference and outside-ness). Feeling this has made me realise that it’s just as easy to judge from the outside looking in, as it is from the inside looking out. It’s a lot easier to be defensive when you feel different, ready to pounce on anyone who you have perceived to have judged you. Or in my case, ready to explain that this isn’t really my hair, I don’t usually look like this and hey, it was for a good cause I promise! But people aren’t judging me, and even if they are, does that mean that I should therefore judge them? As the old saying (that my dad was always so fond of telling my brother when we were fighting) goes- two wrongs don’t make a right. The cycle of judgement that I so swiftly created for myself is completely ridiculous.
I realised that rather than being defensive or ready to judge back, I should be focusing on being loving. I don’t need to justify the way I look, because in justifying it I am acknowledging the judgement. I need to focus on being loving and engaging in conversations about how awesome it is that we all look different. Focusing on love automatically makes me less judgemental, and makes me assume the best of people rather than the worst.
I genuinely feel that I’m already less judgemental and more welcoming. I’m more open and attentive to what people have to say, rather than approaching conversations with me pre-conceived judgements. I once read about a person who didn’t overlook the differences in people, but that he just didn’t know that they were there. Imagine what a blessing that is. That’s what I aspire to. To be so incredibly loving, that I don’t even see the differences between people, I just see everyone as another person with whom to share my love.