Since it’s Palm Sunday, today at church the sermon was about the Easter story. And the thing from the sermon and the bible reading (John 18 v1-11) that stood out to me most was that God was in entire control that whole time. Even during the darkest times when it might have seemed like His plan was going wrong, He was totally in control. It was all in His wonderful plan for humanity.
It made me realise the change in myself. Learning to trust God throughout this whole process for me has been quite the experience- trusting that shaving my head was the right decision to make at the time, going through with it and starting this journey. It’s so easy to tell myself that God is in control, to repeat the mantra that it will all be alright in the end, and don’t worry because it is in God’s hands. But to truly believe that and live it out is difficult. It’s silly because I should spend my time marvelling at the fact that I am able to leave all my worries with God, but instead I have always spent my time stressing about the future, and what people think of me, and whether I’m doing the right thing.
As I’m nearing the end of my degree I have so many questions about what is to come next in my life- where will I live, what will I do, who will be my friends. And I don’t doubt that I will have these questions for a long time to come. The difference is that I now have the assured confidence that I will have the strength and know-how to get through whatever comes my way. Over the last 39 days I have begun to appreciate God’s sovereignty within my own life, and with that has come a great sense of peace. His plan is more amazing than anything I could imagine, so what do I have to be anxious over? I have learnt to place my worries in his hands, and to just live and love.