Day 34- Comfort Zone

Everyone deserves comfort in their lives. But there is definitely a difference between having comfort and being comfortable. I think that being too comfortable is when the trouble starts, because it makes me lazy (or indifferent as the Pope put it).

When I’m too comfortable in the house, I don’t mind the  dirty plates and dusty carpets, and they are more likely to stay that way. When I’m too comfortable in my prayer, I continue to pray the same mundane things, and thus not actually say or achieve anything new in my relationship with God. When I was too comfortable with my hair, I wasn’t pushing myself to ask why I had certain perceptions or associations, and I certainly wasn’t challenging myself to become less jealous or judgemental.

Mostly, I think that when I get too comfortable, I stop reflecting, and reflection is definitely a key part of personal growth. I stop thinking about others when I’m too comfortable because I’m doing just fine, and so I forget that other people might not be. Reflection isn’t celebrated to the extent that it should be in my society, that’s definitely something that I’ve realised.

Being uncomfortable all of the time, as I was for at least the first two weeks after the chop, really forced me to reflect and think. That’s why I had so much motivation at the start of this blog, when I was so full of new insights and ideas. But that motivation has decreased as I have become more comfortable with my haircut, and thus have reflected less. This isn’t a bad thing, because I am definitely a more loving, less judgemental person now than I was before. But I need to be sure to not get too comfortable, so that I don’t go back to being indifferent in the issues that I have raised and learnt about over the last month.

In order to strive to be the best possible, most loving version of myself, I need to push myself and my boundaries, and make sure that I am not too comfortable . I need to challenge myself, others and society to be as loving as possible, because there is definitely enough hatred in the world already. And on the days when I don’t want to do these things, I need to remember that it’s ok to take a day off, because everything is in God’s hands. But it’s when the days turn into weeks, and the weeks into months, that I need to start to look for, and pray for, ways out of my comfort zone again.

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Day 34- Comfort Zone

Day 32-Not like other girls

I’ve been talking about my hair with a lot of people recently, because I have been travelling and meeting people a lot (as well as doing essays but lol YOLO that’s what train journeys are for right?). A lot of these conversations have revolved around the fact that I’m now different because I shaved my head and have done something that some people will never do or experience. Now, I’m “not like other girls.”

And yes, this is true, I am not like other girls because I am not like any girls because I am only like me since there is only one me, right? Which means that everyone is not like other girls.

But it’s not meant like that. It’s meant as a compliment. And I kinda don’t understand why.

This “compliment” puts down other girls, and puts me above them. The sentiment implies that there is something inherently wrong with girls, and that by being different from them I’m better. Choosing to shave my head hasn’t put me above anyone. Nothing I do puts me above people. The same applies for “not like other boys”, “not like other students”, “not like other (insert group stereotype here).” So it’s not a compliment. It’s a backhanded criticism. And it’s a sentiment that has crept into everyday thinking.

I think the idea ultimately stems from wanting to celebrate diversity and being different, which is definitely a good thing. However, this can celebrated without stereotyping everyone else and putting them down, right?

We are all different and that’s the point. No two people on the planet are exactly the same and that’s the beauty of it. We are all human which unites us, and beyond that we are all different. There shouldn’t be any categories, any stereotyping, any assumptions of anyone because if we are all different then none of those categories, stereotypes or assumptions can be true.

We are all the same, in the fact that we are all different. And we are equal in the fact that we will never be the same. Therefore, we are all united.

 

 

 

 

 

Day 32-Not like other girls

Day 14- Hair, WHERE?

The funny thing with hair is that what matters more than what it looks like, is where it is.

Head? Yes.

Armpits? Gender dependant.

That other place? There are some Brazilians who I’m sure would have something to say about it.

Traditionally, the general view in the society that I live is that women shouldn’t be hairy from the eyebrows down otherwise they are masculine, and men should be as hairy as possible from the eyebrows down otherwise they are feminine. Who decided these random associations of certain hairstyles on our heads and of body hair on certain parts of our body? WHO!? And more importantly, why? We already have so much dividing us as a species, why focus on more random things to divide us?

Anyways. Over the last few years I have developed a favourite habit. I  grow the hair on my legs super long, and then go running in shorts. It’s honestly the best thing ever. It’s a whole new sensory experience that many people (especially women due to the traditional view of hairy legged women in the society that I live) won’t ever get the opportunity to experience. The feeling of the wind rippling through the hair on my legs is amazing.

The sad part is, that I only free my hairy legs when I’m running. That way I know that I’m moving too fast for anyone to notice. If I was spending the day with my legs exposed, I would definitely wax/shave/epilate/(insert other painful hair removal method here).

Since I cut my hair, there have been days when I have craved having more hair on my head , because my short hair made me feel judged by society. And yet, if I was to venture out to the beach in my bikini with hairy legs, armpits and (heaven forbid!) bikini line, I would feel equally judged and want to get rid of said hair. How totally, utterly, completely and entirely BIZARRE is that!?

Now, I’m not saying that women shouldn’t shave their legs. As much as I love running and feeling the breeze through the forest on my shins, I also love the silky smoothness of bed sheets against my freshly waxed calves. But maybe I need to think about why I’m doing what I’m doing to my body hair as well as the hair on my head? And I need to continue this fight to deconstruct my views which run deeper than I can imagine. Imagine a world where anyone can do anything with any hair on their body, and nobody would bat an eyelid. That’s the world I want to live in.

Basically, what I’m saying is that society’s relationship with hair is beyond strange. It’s downright hil(h)a(i)rious! (ba dum tss).

Day 14- Hair, WHERE?